What does the magician of Oz need to offer us once it involves rebuilding trust? three things: a brain, a heart, and courage.

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During a current TrustWorks! training course for a client, i was leading participants with a procedure of do an overview for holding a conversation with someone to deal with the state the low trust in their relationship. In ~ one allude a participant asked, “Do people really do this? ns can’t imagine having actually a conversation with someone and saying ‘I don’t trust you."”

That question triggered a rich conversation on the emotionally courage and personal maturity it takes to attend to issues of short or broken trust in a relationship. Together I’ve thought about courage, the image of the Cowardly Lion native the wizard of Oz keeps popping right into my mind. Not to over-simplify the facility and daunting issue of rebuilding trust, i think the Scarecrow, Tinman, and Cowardly Lion offer some insights right into what the takes to resolve issues of to trust in relationships.

Dorothy: “How can you talk if girlfriend don’t have a brain?”Scarecrow: “I don’t know…But some human being without brains do an awful lot of talking…don’t they?” 

A Brain – You must be smart around the method you method the situation when you’re rebuilding trust. I wouldn’t recommend opening the conversation by speak “I don’t trust you.” before engaging in a conversation, you should think v the reasons why friend don’t trust someone. Ask you yourself a collection of “why” concerns to narrow down the reason of low to trust to certain behaviors. Once you do have actually the conversation, usage “I” language come take property of your own feelings and also to reduced defensiveness with the various other person. Keep the conversation concentrated on the certain behaviors that are causing low trust fairly than attack the character of the other person. Going into a conversation to comment on trust concerns without being ready is a recipe because that disaster.

Dorothy: “Goodbye Tinman. Oh, don’t cry! You’ll rust therefore dreadfully.”Tinman: “Now I understand I’ve acquired a heart ’cause it’s breaking…”

A Heart – to trust is built when you demonstrate care and concern for others. If friend don’t care for the quality of your relationship with someone, it will certainly be challenging to construct or rebuild trust v that person. I’m not saying it’s a need to have actually a deep, an individual relationship with someone in stimulate to have a high level that trust, however you do must recognize and also appreciate the worth of the relationship, both to you and the other person. As component of your ready to resolve an worry of low trust, make a list of features you evaluate in the other person and also reasons you worth your relationship. When managing trust issues, it’s easy to only emphasis on the an unfavorable aspects of the relationship and disregard all the optimistic things that may exist.

Cowardly Lion: “All right, I’ll walk in there for Dorothy. Angry Witch or no angry Witch, guards or no guards, I’ll tear them apart. I may not come out alive, yet I’m walk in there. There’s only one point I want you fellows come do.” Tinman, Scarecrow: “What’s that?” Cowardly Lion: “Talk me the end of it!”

Courage – Addressing an concern of low or broken trust have the right to be a an overwhelming task that requires a high degree of personal maturity and also emotional courage. Courage have the right to come in many different shapes and sizes. Once speaking of this topic, Winston Churchill said “Courage is what that takes to was standing up and speak; ship is likewise what the takes to sit down and also listen.” depending upon your duty in the situation, you may need to muster increase the courage to execute the speaking, or you may need to humble you yourself to carry out the listening. If the instance is just too sensitive for friend to attend to on your own, look for out the aid of a standard third-party to aid mediate or facilitate the discussion.

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We every wish that rebuilding to trust was as an easy as see the wizard of Oz and also having that bestow on united state a medal or proclamation that solves ours problem. Rebuilding to trust isn’t the easy, but it is possible if us courageously and also intelligently approach the case with care and also concern to gain back the connection on solid ground.