As anyone education by “The Flintstones” knows, among prehistoric man’s favourite meals to be barbecued mastodon ribs. Paleolithic cavern paintings seem to support the insurance claim (though whether the ribs were ready with a dry obstacle or marinade is tho a warm topic in historical journals). In fact, evidence argues that early hunters discovered their means to the brand-new world in the first place by chasing mammoth herds as they fanned across continents. So exactly how did the cow, one ugly-looking milk monster from Vermont, become the practical protein that the masses if the elephant, the mammoth’s rail grand-nephew, is only ever eaten in pet cracker form? The long answer involves section headings like pet lifespan, infrastructure, society taboos, endangered types lists and insurmountable husbandry challenges.

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The brief answer, however, is simple: the elephant has the toughness of a hundred Danny Trejos. Add in its trunk and also a collection of thrashing tusks, and it’s finest not to mess with one. But back in the day, details adventurous individuals did eat elephant flesh and also live to tell the tale for our vicarious benefit. Below are your wild accounts.

One that the earliest composed accounts originates from 1456 as soon as the Venetian traveler Alvise Cadamosto sailed up the Gambia River and also was offered a food of pachyderm 2 ways. “I had actually some both roasted and also boiled,” that wrote, “but I uncovered it hard and also of an uncomfortable relish.” regardless of his lukewarm reaction, Cadamosto returned to Portugal with a souvenir of a salted elephant ear because that his patron, Prince Henry the Navigator.

In 1790, François Le Vaillant was offered an elephant’s foot because that breakfast when visiting a tribe in the african interior. Ever the French gourmand, he wrote in his journal:

…it exhaled such a savory odour, that I quickly tasted and found it to it is in delicious. I … can not conceive that so gross and also heavy an animal as the Elephant, would afford such vulnerable food. “Never,” said I, “can our modern epicures have actually such a broken at your tables; let compelled fruits and the contribute of assorted countries add to their luxury, however cannot castle procure so terrific a dish as I have actually now before me.”

In 1859, Paul du Chaillu, the “discoverer” of gorillas, enjoyed a grand feast in equatorial Africa. He later on boasted the the feast had all manner of jungle fauna including crocodiles (with lemon and cayenne pepper), a “charming monkey1,” wild buffalo tongue, otter, antelope, gazelle, manatee, water turtles, a boiled gorilla, and plantains (for an excellent measure). Here, he explains the elephant plate in his 1869 travelogue:

The drums space beating furiously again and also again. Twenty the the king’s wives have actually come out, every bringing a dish v her, which lock deposit top top the mats. Then Obindji … tasted of every dish to display us that no food to be poisoned, for such is the practice of the country.

…there was a huge pot include an huge piece of an elephant, which had actually been boiling due to the fact that the job before, so the the meat might be tender. An additional dish was the boiled exhilaration foot of one elephant, which had actually been specially cooked because that me, this being taken into consideration by numerous the best piece.

The world all round united state were eating. The first mouthful ns put into my mouth caused cheer ~ cheer to walk up. “The ntanga is eating! The ntanga is eat of the elephant!”… It was a pretty hard piece the meat, I guarantee you; the serial was an extremely coarse, and the meat was rather tasteless and also rather dry.

The renowned traveler Dr. David Livingstone — yes, that “Dr. Livingstone, ns presume?” — chronicles his 1864 adventures in the western panhandle that Mozambique where, among other odysseys, he and also his crew delighted in a breakfast of elephant foot porridge.

The cutting up of one elephant is rather a distinctive spectacle. The males stand ring the animal in dead silence, if the cook of the traveling party declares that, according to ancient law, the head and also right hind-leg belong to him who…inflicted the an initial wound; the left leg to that who delivered the second, or an initial touched the pet after it fell. The meat roughly the eye to the English, or chief of the travelers…

As Livingstone’s account continues, the cook stepped aside after ~ announcing who acquired which knee joint2 and also who got to have actually the trunk tip and also whose campfire obtained to roast an elephantine ribeye the size of a plasma television. Currently the tribesmen rushed towards the carcass like frantic Wal-Mart shoppers in ~ a black Friday sale, however instead of trying come snag consumer electronics and also scented candles, they would grab handfuls the gushing offal and rib bones the size of canoe paddles.3

…the natives soon end up being excited, and scream wildly together they cut away at the carcass through a score the spears, whose long handles quiver in the air over their heads. Your excitement becomes momentarily an ext and an ext intense, and also reaches the culminating point when, as denoted through a roar the gas, the substantial mass is laid fairly open. Part jump inside, and also roll about there in their eagerness come seize the precious fat, when others run off, screaming, through pieces the the bloody meat, litter it on the grass, and also run back for more: all store talking and also shouting in ~ the utmost key of their voices.

As honored guests, Livingstone and also his guys received (in addition to the meat about the eye) a pot the beer and also an elephant forefoot prepared in “native fashion.”

We had actually the foot hence cooked for breakfast next morning, and found the delicious. That is a whitish mass, slightly gelatinous, and also sweet, prefer marrow. A long march, to stop biliousness, is a wise precaution after ~ a enjoy the meal of elephant’s foot. Elephant’s trunk and also tongue are additionally good, and, after long simmering, much resemble the hump that a buffalo, and also the tongue of one ox; but all the other meat is tough, and, native its strange flavour, only to be eaten by a hungry man.

Livingstone’s men were for this reason taken v the intoxicating taste that elephant, they went back to feral beasts, retreated to the caves of their tents and did little more than sleep, snack, sing and sweat for numerous more days.

The quantities of meat our guys devour is fairly astounding. They cook as much as their pots will hold, and eat it spins it becomes physically impossible for them to stow away any type of more. An uproarious dance follows, accompanied with stentorian song; and also as soon as they have shaken their first course down, and also washed turn off the sweat and also dust of the after ~ performance, they go to work-related to roast more: a quick snatch the sleep succeeds, and they space up and at it again; all night lengthy it is boil and also eat, roast and devour, with a couple of brief interludes of sleep.

For the machines out there, sir Samuel Baker, a victor naturalist, gives instructions on just how to build an elephant cooktop in his 1868 adventure-log:

A hole have to be dug in the earth, about four feet deep, and two feet 6 inches in diameter…in this a big fire need to be lighted, and also kept burn for 4 or 5 hours…so the the walls become red-hot. In ~ the expiration that the blaze, the foot must be laid upon the glowing embers, and also the hole covered very closely with thick piece of green wood…to kind a ceiling; this have to be covered with wet grass, and the whole plastered through mud, and also stamped tightly down to retain the heat…he oven should not be opened up for thirty hours, or more. At the expiration of that time, the foot will be perfect baked, and the single will separate choose a shoe, and expose a vulnerable substance that, with a tiny oil and also vinegar, in addition to an allowance of pepper and salt, is a delicious dish that will certainly feed around fifty men.

Our final first-hand account is a rare instance of elephant intake out that Africa. When those rascally Prussians to be laying siege come Paris in the long winter of 1870 and food was in quick supply4 number of exotic animals mysteriously disappeared indigenous the regional zoo only to reappear in the local butcher shops. Edmond Goncourt (of the Prix Goncourt) recorded the surreal, post-apocalyptic step in his journal:

December 31 — I have actually just been to Roos, the English butcher the the Boulevard Haussmann. ~ above the wall, hung in the location of honour, was the trunk of Pollux, the young elephant that the Jardin d’Acclimatation, surrounded by a strange collection of hoofs and horns; one of the shop-boys was supplying a client some camel kidneys! meanwhile Roos himself, surrounded by a variety of women, was declaiming, ‘Yes, fourty francs a pound for the fillet and also shoulder.’ … ns counted top top Pollux developing 3000 lbs., yet I have only had 2000. The price of the feet? Twenty francs. Permit me to recommend you my black pudding — you room doubtless aware that elephants have actually exceptionally good rich blood. His heart alone sweet 25 pounds. Over there is a touch that onion in mine black pudding!

There are countless foods that tickle my curiosity organ that I’ll probably never get a possibility to try. Briny whale milk is one. Spit fermented Chicha de Jora is another. And elephant — unless it can be synthesized from subatomic particles5 by a replicator onboard the USS companies NC-1701-D — is nearly assuredly a third. Thankfully, these accounts provide some hint regarding what elephant meat in reality tastes like: the flavor is by turns “unpleasant” and also “peculiar” and its structure varies in between “coarse” and also “slightly gelatinous.” Apparently, elephant tastes like Spam.

1 Here follows one that the most nonchalant and ghastly currently in any kind of travelogue I’ve ever read, “The small fellow seemed to be nothing yet a round of fat, and also looked wonderfully choose a roasted baby.” oh the humanity! 2 contradictory to bogus net trivia sites, the elephant has only two knees. 3 according to some numbers that I just plugged into a Microsoft Excel 2003 spreadsheet, a fully grown elephant can feed more than 200 people for a month. 4 “The price the a rat captured in the sewers and fifty percent cooked (for fuel too is short) is far higher than we formerly used to pay for spring chicken,” reads an entrance in the diary of one of the survivors. 5 Because, together all true They can be Giants fans know, “even elephants are made of elements.”

Raynor Ganan is a mammal that spends time in the republic of Massachusetts. He occasionally contributes come the ragbag, a ingredient of the internet.

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Photo by KTRawlings.