1. It"s our finest friend.

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We"ve known our dick our whole life. It"s been there for us v thick and thin, and also we yes, really bonded throughout puberty. Many of us would rather lose an eight or a leg before losing ours penis.

2. HOW huge IS our PENIS, REALLY? Every man has had actually at least one penis-related minute of self-doubt. A genital crisis. Is our prick too small? also big? as well fat or thin? Does it curve too lot to the left or right? carry out we have actually a great penis? please tell us. We must know.

3. Say thanks to you because that being there when I have idle hands. Sometimes, messing roughly with our dick isn"t also sexual. We similar to doing it due to the fact that we"re bored. It"s like having a built-in pen come twirl.

4. WHY execute YOU BETRAY ME? I"m still getting boners at inopportune times. Your prick is choose that friend who is normally pretty cool but then you take him come a party, and also he gets also drunk and also gets you kicked out.

5. You"ve got too much affect on my brain. I have to think less about making girlfriend happy and more about doing points that don"t indicate you. Ns would more than likely be a millionaire right currently if i spent less time masturbating and also played the stock sector instead.

6. Oh, shit. I have actually two holes. over there comes a time in every man"s life once he stumbles upon the reality that he has a hole because that urine and one because that semen. His life is never the very same after that.

7. Don"t phone call the balls, yet I like you better. ns mean, come on, they"re alright, yet they don"t lug as lot to table.

8. You require to find out to transaction in the heat, man. If a penis has one glaring weakness, it"s hot, humid weather. I don"t think I need to tell you why.

9. Why is over there so much hair? Once you incorporate that truth with the over point, it"s yes, really unfair.

10. You room so full of mystery. It is remarkable just how versatile and also malleable you are. You have the right to be soft and hard, adjust size and shape. You space a series of beautiful contradictions, penis.

11. I"m sorry ns sit on you. There are few things worse than sitting on your own junk, particularly if you simply let yourself free fall ~ above the chair hard, no realizing your about to land on your own manhood. I"m pretty sure this is wherein the phrase "hoisted through his very own petard" comes from (but probably I"m wrong).

12. Please shot your ideal not come touch the toilet seat. This is for sure terrible, particularly if it"s a public bathroom. Emotion the cold kiss the porcelain while discovering that lots of other weird penises probably pressed up versus that very same spot sparks a deep fear in a man"s heart. A primal fear, choose hearing the howl the a surrounding wolf.

13. Why execute you firmly insist on gaining tangled increase in my boxers? This is simply not an excellent for anyone. Please continue to be put, rather of twisting you yourself in there prefer a cat acquiring stuck in yarn.

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Cosmo FrankI am a human being male that enjoys consuming meals consist of of all 5 food groups and also fulfilling every level that Maslow’s pecking order of Needs.
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